Kristina Lloyd

Erotic Fiction Author

Smart Ass

Smart Ass is out! This is the third ebook in the annual anal erotica series from Pretty Things Press and, appropriately, my story is about a threesome (BrE) – or a threeway (AmE)!

I  love writing for this series! My first story for our Ass ebooks was a M/M piece set in Istanbul, Strangers in the Bathhouse. I then went for anal sex with an astronaut and a couple whose marriage was on the (moon)rocks, and wrote Dark Side of the Moon. And this year I have My Ass is Your Ass is My Ass, a full-on, filthy, D/s threeway (MFM).

Here’s the official blurb:

Coral’s a barmaid with two lovers, at least. When her main squeeze, Tony, insists she keep one thing for him, anal or deep-throating, Coral hands him ownership of her ass. But Snowy, her other lover, unhappy at missing out, wants to challenge Tony’s dominance. In the ensuing battle for her butt, Coral figures the issue is best resolved by taking both guys to bed for a hot, hard threeway.

And I’m not even going to begin telling you what inspired this story!

Hurry, hurry! If you buy Smart Ass from Smashwords before the end of Saturday (17 Sept), you’ll get 25% discount. Here’s how:

Go here to purchase the ebook

Before you checkout, enter the coupon code DZ33X

This results in a promotional price of $3.37! Full price is $4.49. If, like me, you are a bewildered Brit, this is approx £2.85 down to £2.10. Brits, to get your piece of promo ass, simply act like a Yank (I believe they chew gum and say ‘Yee-ha! How awfully awesome!’), download from Smashwords, it does the math(s) and you get your goodies in a flash! (No e-reader required, just a computer.). I haven’t got a clue when Sat 17th Sept actually ends, so grab it while you can!

Smart Ass is also available at All Romance and on Kindle UK and Kindle US. (And you can get the Kindle app for PC for free: free Kindle UK and free Kindle US)

The latter (Amazon US) has flummoxed me because I wanted to add my story, My Ass is Your Ass is My Ass, to my listmania list of main publications. But it seems Amazon US regards  ‘ass’ in listmanias as ‘inappropriate language’, even though it’s cool to have ‘ass’ in a title for sale (not to mention that ‘ass’ is totally appropriate for an anal-sex anthology!). So anyways, I had to rewrite my title as ‘My As* is Your A*s is My *ss’! Scroll down to see my as(s)terisks! Interestingly, I tried a BrE version of the title – My Arse is Your Arse is My Arse – and Amazon US accepts that. But that ain’t what my story’s called! These days, I generally go for ‘ass’ to make my smut more accessible/acceptable to a US audience (and don’t even get me started on the trouble I have with knickers, pants, suspenders and so on) but maybe ‘arse’ would slip past the ass-censors! Crazy.

Anyway, here’s the opening to my story:

My Ass is Your Ass is My Ass

So, there he is with his cock in my ass, and I’m biting the pillow, making all sorts of groans. At least, that’s how it looks on the outside. Not that anyone’s watching. We’re in my bedroom and very alone together, the way you are when someone’s fucking your ass. Very alone together.

So that’s the outside view: kinda porny and inadequate. On the inside, I’m floating in a space nebula, and star clusters of silver are pulsing bright and dark. I’m about to go supernova when Tony makes a breathless demand. “You’ve got to save one thing for me,” he says. “Your ass or your throat.”

He could be speaking a foreign language. Slow colorbursts spread across my mind like intergalactic ink stains: electric blue and peacock green with halos of neon pink and gold. My ass is so stretched and full of his big, beautiful dick.
“What is it, huh?” he says. “I’m giving you a choice here. You gotta make up your mind. Anal or deep-throating?”

I wail and whimper. The question’s too difficult. It’s like he asked me to explain string theory.

“Come on,” he urges. “I know you fuck other guys. No need to be shy. I know you’re a slut but you’re my slut, see?” His fingers grip below my hips. “So you got to put up a ‘reserved’ sign on one part of your body. ‘Only for Tony.’ What’s it to be? Ass or throat?”

I want to work through the question employing all my faculties of reason. I want to write a list of pros and cons and give due consideration to the implications of this decision, both for my myself, for my relationship with Tony and with the others. But I can’t. So I reach into deep space and pluck a word from a distant constellation, a single syllable burning bright and white.

“Ass. My ass.”

Tony groans and holds himself deep. “Good girl,” he murmurs. Whenever he says that, I go loose with lust. “What am I doing right now?” he asks.

My words are tangled up with stars. “Fucking me.”

“Where’s my cock?”

“In my ass.”

“Whose ass?” He slides away and in again, slow and controlled. “Whose ass is it really?”

I’m spiraling toward a whirlpool of blackness and I fight the pull, knowing gravity wants to steal my words.

“It’s your ass,” I say. “My ass is your ass.”

“That’s right,” he breathes.

“Is my ass,” I gasp. When I come, I fall through nights of liquid velvet, lights prickling as ageless galaxies die across the dark skies of my mind.


That was five months ago. I’ve been with half a dozen other guys since then and I’ve kept my word. Well, more or less …

You can read a whole lot more on Smashwords because mine’s the first story in the collection and the first 20% of the book is free to read!

Smart Ass also includes super-sexy buttfuck fic from Sommer Marsden, Thomas S. Roche, Alison Tyler and Sophia Valenti.

Something for the weekend? With 25% off?

Ah, go on! Treat yourself!

September 14, 2011 - Posted by | Kristina Lloyd | , ,

1 Comment »

  1. Oh no, Kristina, what can I say? This is the day I’ve chosen to present you with the Versatile Blogger Award, telling everybody I know that I want to write like you, and what have you done? Posted a cock-in-my-ass story. Now how is that going to make me look? Oh well, it’s done now. Here is the Versatile Blogger Award. For details go here: Please try and be gracious about it, although it’s totally optional. As should be any ass-fucking going on. You are still the best.

    Comment by Vanessa | September 18, 2011 | Reply

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